Pioneer Woman

I want to be the pioneer woman when I grow up.  www.thepioneerwoman.com.  

I know, through wisdom and self searching that I will never be her.  Part of me is glad but then I'm not so sure.  I can't even tell you what I want to be when I grow up as me.  She's living my dream life but at the same time, does she really sleep as much as enjoy to sleep?  Would I enjoy it as much if I had her life? 

My real idea of freedom is being self sufficient.  Living off the grid like Nim's Island or how P-Dub could if she so chose.  I also want to be nearer to water than she but I would find myself content with her many ponds and creeks.  

Not to down myself or anything, but I'm a very large girl that is cute but not outwardly beautiful.  I have very little chance at meeting someone as handsom, wholesome, and wealthy as MM.  I have to settle or to live alone.  That is my lot.  I guess I should determine how much settling I'm willing to do.