Dear Stupid Fucking Redneck,

Please put on a shirt.

This rule applies to all men sending pictures of themselves over the Internet.

Yes, there are great looking men out there. However, I'm willing to bet if you're sending your pictures over the Internet to someone you haven't met....you aren't one of them.

Please Mr. Redneck, do not let your kid into my car without a child seat. I do not care if Illegitimate Izzy does it all the time, it does not make her safe. You drive like an asshole regardless of whether Bastard Billy is in the car so strap the little booger down nice and tight, just in case.

Mr. Redneck, I know I asked for your assistance in finding me illicit substances. Thank you for your help. No thank you for bringing your kid along. That just pisses me off. I really do not care that we dropped her off at grandma's work; being as you got out of the car, instructed the child to "geddout" and we pull away before grandma is found and the child is left wandering the front yard, I would rather have taken her with us.

By the way, when she calls you Daddy, she isn't playing you ignorant fuck, it means she looks up to your stupid ass and you better watch what you do and say around her before she hates you too.

I'm writing to let you know, I will need your help next time or well, ever because no bud in the world is worth seeing someone treat a child so poorly.

Rot in hell,
One unsatisfied customer.