Letter to Icky

Dear possible infection in my body,

Please go away. I have way too much going on right now to be a good host. I am at a new job and it just looks bad to take off to take care of your sickness, especially when you show up unannounced. I do not mean to be rude sir sickness, but really, I have to make cake pops for this weekend! I can't share you with my friends. Yes, I know sharing is caring! BUT There is a little bitty baby there that is just too small to take you on herself so please, illness, go away. And how am I supposed to be the ruff rider's newest super fan if I miss the game on Sat? I can't~ I'll go up there with ear plugs if I have to just to show my support to my future ex husband Longoria (Brandi Longoria sounds good to me!) And quite frankly, in order to get Mr. Longoria to notice me, you just can't be around. You are the female version of a cock block and I just can't accomodate you at this time.

Sorry Sickness,Brandi

PS--this is bullshit.

Ode to Banana Popsicles

I love you cause you're yummy.
I love you in my tummy.
I love you love you love you.
Yummy yummy yummy.

*bows*

My friends and I are stupid.

Here's a conversation between me and Ifer!


Me- I'll be a ok. It's about time for me to get sick. I usually get pretty sick two or three times in the winter and I've been fortunate enough to not have been sick since December. I'll let the sickness win this time, its been nice enough to stay away when important things were coming up. I'm just uncomfortable and whiney. lol I can do that and work at the same time.hehe

her: haha! well i'm glad ur just whiney and a little uncomfy. :) good thing ur not vomit......ing... lol

Me- I'm glad I'm not vomit. I would totally hate me.

her: u'd smell

Me- I wouldn't have a nose so I wouldn't mind. But it would be really hard to get laid.

her: i dont think you'd mind that. but dogs would lick you up then you'd be dog poo...then fertilizer. then a vegetable..lmao

Me- I'll be corn so I never REALLY get digested. HA jokes on you vomit eater!

Boys...

I have two people right now that are really filling my brain. The bad guy and the good guy. I'm at that classic point in dating where the girl has the bad boy that drives her mad and the good guy that just doesn't make her heart skip. I'm soooo lucky not to be alone. Do not get me wrong, I'm not complaining. I'm just talking.

My bad boy is my Cowboy. This mofo has a s-l-a-m-m-i-n' body. I dig this body. I would draw and paint and sculpt this body. That is, if I had talent in any of these things. In all actuality, if this being were to model for me, nothing would get accomplished other than hands on study. I haven't slept with him mind you, I'm a lady. But he and the body he carries with him make me stupid. I forget that he yelled at me for no good reason, nearly cost me my job, hasn't shown me he could be trusted, and dips (eww). All it takes is a whiff of his shirt or a peek at his perfect little belly button and I'm on cloud nine. He makes my hoo hoo tingle. I want him madly and I can have him but I can't see this leading anywhere but a broken heart and low self esteem.  But bless my stupid mind this boy makes me think it just might be worth it. He dreams of having tons of kids, working all his life, and living in a nice trailer home. Can anyone out there see me in this situation? After nibbling on his ear and feeling him shutter from hat to boot, I can't help but think I might just like that after all. He's stood me up, gotten at attitude with me and lost his temper in front of me. But he'll call me and just sit and watch me blow dry my hair...or he'll come up behind me and wrap his arms around me ever so slowly while I brush my teeth. He never fails to make me feel beautiful, even when I'm mad at him and wear mismatched clothes with my hair up and no make up.  He lifts heavy objects for me and makes me melt. He fixes my leaky bath tub for me and I can't help but wrap my body around his while he works. I even smile at his boot print left in my nice white tub. My arms feel incomplete when he isn't in them. He even lets me talk about the future without taking me too seriously and running away. I told him the other day that he has to take care of his heart because I plan to live there for a while and make myself comfortable.  

Then there's my good guy. He is not handsome in a traditional sense but he has a great personality and is quick to smile. Anyone who knows him, loves him. He has a speech impediment and his heart is too big for his body and his teeth are crooked but he makes me laugh and gives good hugs. I tells me I'm beautiful and works with my schedule even though it's so different from his. He was so nervous around me the other night that he bit right through his lip and drew blood. Can I hear an "awww." I would feel very safe with him and I do feel safe with him.  

On the other hand...my Cowboy can embarrass the tar outta me and I still want to stick around and see what's next. He gets in his redneck truck, turns on his CB radio (I'm not kidding) and cat calls at old ladies. He tells kids not to drink beer while downing one. We get yelled at by at least one person every time we go out in public for one reason or another.  

*contented sigh*

What would you do?

Pioneer Woman

I want to be the pioneer woman when I grow up.  www.thepioneerwoman.com.  

I know, through wisdom and self searching that I will never be her.  Part of me is glad but then I'm not so sure.  I can't even tell you what I want to be when I grow up as me.  She's living my dream life but at the same time, does she really sleep as much as enjoy to sleep?  Would I enjoy it as much if I had her life? 

My real idea of freedom is being self sufficient.  Living off the grid like Nim's Island or how P-Dub could if she so chose.  I also want to be nearer to water than she but I would find myself content with her many ponds and creeks.  

Not to down myself or anything, but I'm a very large girl that is cute but not outwardly beautiful.  I have very little chance at meeting someone as handsom, wholesome, and wealthy as MM.  I have to settle or to live alone.  That is my lot.  I guess I should determine how much settling I'm willing to do.  

dying inside

I cannot remember any other month being as bad as this one in all of my life. Buzz split on me. I was terrified of what could happen but he said he was ok to his mom. At least that's something. I wish he would talk to me. I'm dying inside.

Where did my friend go?

Hi everyone. I'm hopefully at the tail end of the month that only Satan himself could have shit out. I want to make it clear that my month has not been worse than some say victims of something, but it is bad because of many things and none of which are really bringing me hope and none of which have brought me much closer to God. Maybe it's a flaw within me. I can't imagine living this month over again without killing myself. I fortunately, am not trapped in a Bill Murray comedy so folks, no blood no foul; I'm not killing anyone anytime soon. Don't fool yourself into thinking it wasn't in consideration. It was. Just not with a very serious tone attached.

The main thing I want to talk about is Buzz. He said he didn't want to be with me anymore. Ok. It hurt, I'm over it. What I'm not ok with is today when I'm crying about things (not related to him per se but my overall month and some things that happened at work last night) and he has nothing to say about it. No, I'm sorry life sucks for you, no hug, nothing. He just laid there. Then his mom came and he went to the movies. He left me with tears falling down my cheeks as if I weren't even there. I have never thought that Buzz would be so heartless. Where did Buzz go?